sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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