nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
