"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
