we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize