do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
