no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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