I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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