I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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