Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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