Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
