I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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