Fuck appropriateness.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
