I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We were destined to go to rehab together
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
