haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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