It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
