just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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