Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
