is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
did you just send me my own nude
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
