wrigley field is MILF paradise
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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