YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
