The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize