there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
