Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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