I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
