Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
