fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
