i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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