Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
