that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
