Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
