Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
