dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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