i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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