And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
