Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
