i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
