she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize