i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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