I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
