Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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