if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
