I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
