Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
