3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
