I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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