Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
