Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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