Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
