'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
