I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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