Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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