I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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