is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
