Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
