and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
