sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
