If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
