Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
