Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
why is half of my head shaved?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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