4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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