we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
