Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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