Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
