1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
