And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am in a vortex of obligation.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
