theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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