Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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